Under the Lamp

The voice of subjective deliberation is muted in our Western world; the light of reason, science and objectivity are the valued norms of western thought, and they ordinarily rule over intuition and insight in our estimation of reliable notions. We have words for subjective thinking: pie in the sky, empty rhetoric, and baseless suppositions, and yet, as I have said before, in the last few years, my AH HA! moments seem to come from the subjective influences in my life: poetry, literature and writers like Thoreau, Emerson, Rumi, and others.
However, my argument with many philosophers is that they end their books as though there was no more to learn: at the end of their honored logic they pronounce, "The End." What no more to learn than what this man tells us? Is one man's reason, regardless of his intellect, enough to say "Enough?" I regret no book that I have read, no philosophy that I have studied and no religion that I have investigated, but often there are more answers in a few simple words or in a simple thought than in all the philosophy books written.
Consider Mullah Nasruddin: Nasruddin is a favorite character who tells stories that display uniquely subjective solutions to his problems. As I have grown older I begin to see the wisdom in oft-told tales; we can become rich with thought from the stories and oral history from long ago. Here is one of my favorite Mullah Nasruddin stories:
Mullah Nasruddin was on his hands and knees under the street lamp and his friend passed by. “Nasruddin, what are you doing on your hands and knees, did you lose something?”
“Yes,” answered the Mullah. "I lost an important key."
“Where did you lose it?” asked his friend.
“I lost it back there in the dark,” replied Nasruddin.
“Then why, may I ask, are you searching for it here under the lamp,” the friend wondered?
“Do you think I have any chance of finding it back there in the dark?” demanded the Mullah.
We logically assume that we can find things under the known light of reason easier than in the dark ambiguity of the subjective. We find comfort in the light of the scientific method and the rational world. Its apparent surety and control are captivating, but do we need to extend our thinking into the dark corners once in a while?
Westerners tend to avoid the dark, the doubtful, the unknown. We search in the best light and yet wonder why we sometimes find incomplete answers. In fear of our doubt and anxiety we frantically demand that others find the key where we want it to be--under the light of objectivity or the comforting cloak of perennialism. We silence all doubt in ourselves and others, thinking that more science, or more light, or more money will open up untold secrets. Given an objective example of threat to our nation, we jump into action, driven by historical precedents and never stop to look in the dark, to learn more about our enemies and search for answers that are not obvious or highlighted.
Deep in the soul we have to admit that the lamp of objective knowledge and historical tradition casts a flickering light and that we walk on infirm ground. We may doubt that our instinct or insight may lead us to better answers, but doubt is a part of faith. We sometimes have to search in the darkness of faith, not knowing what we will discover.
Thoreau said, “If I could not doubt, I could not have faith.” Each doubting step can bring us farther into the darkness and open our eyes to another step we might take, carrying our doubt with us. The search is all. The more the darkness closes over us, the more our reason is joined by our intuition, and the closer we come to a higher plane of thought--that universal, intuitive, searching energy that is the stuff of all life. The key is to be found in both the light and in the darkness working together.
I will go to my grave with my doubts and much of what I have found to be true is only present in bits and pieces. We are never able to see the whole, the completed tapestry of truth, but still we search. We walk through our field and gather our wild apples whether they are in the light or in the dark corners of hidden truth.